I have created this blog to attempt to help those with chronic pain and depression. Sisyphus was a mythological figure sentenced to roll a stone uphill for eternity. In this way, I intend to approach chronic pain and depression as constant foes that must be your constant focus. Photo courtesy http://akrockefeller.com/blog/tibetan-autonomy-a-futile-odyssey/

Sunday, December 31, 2017

2017 year in review

I haven't posted in a very long time.  I think I tend to write when I am unhappy, which really isn't a good way to track progress.  If you only write when you are miserable then you only read misery.

It has been a very good year for me.  In February of 2017 I found my way to a really good gym named 'The Shop'.  The owner, Joe Howard, is a trainer like none I have ever met.  It has not just been a place where I go, work out, then go home.  It has been completely transformative in how I view the world and myself.  How I speak to myself with my inner voice.  How I care for myself through proper nutrition. 

Over the past year, I participated in 2 powerlifting meets.  It is what I feel I am intended to do.  It is such a rush, much like pro wrestling was.  I wish I could explain the feeling of exhilaration when I go for a 1 rep max or compete in a meet.  I think there are moments in our life when we do something that eclipses everything else and makes us so acutely in tune with it that we are one with it.  That is how I feel now.

In the past I have either made resolutions or ignored new years completely because I felt so defeated.  This year, I am not making a resolution because there is nothing I want to change. I am ON MY PATH.  All I can do is keep marching with the same resolve.

People get hung up on dates and numbers.  Too much I think.  When what you need to focus on is the process.  Numbers will come and go if you honor the process.  Saying that, new years day is just another day to me.  2018 is just a block of time in which I intend to improve myself.

One thing I have learned this year is that if you lie to yourself long enough, you believe the lie.  And the only way to self improvement is to face your flaws and correct them.  I surround myself with people who do this every day and expect it of me.  

My wife and kids have been extremely supportive of me, through bad times and good.  I can't say enough about how important they have been to me through this.  All of the time I have devoted at the Shop has been difficult for them, even though they never say so.  

I feel it has not been an easy road but it has been vastly rewarding.  As Joe Howard has said many times, most people look for the easy path, but there is no easy path.  It has been a marvelous freaking journey thus far.